He stood so close to me I could almost feel his breath over the crisp cold air, the warm moisture condensing into tiny droplets of water, appearing like a small, misty cloud. Raising both hands, super-positioning each finger of one hand over the corresponding finger of the other, clasping tightly. His piercing blue eyes came into full view as he raised his glance. It was so quiet I could faintly hear his heart beat ‘bah-bum bah-bum’. Suddenly, the muscles in his face contracted, stimulated by nerves in his body, urging him to speak. The first word came echoing over me, vanishing into the star-encrusted skies. The second word travelled effortlessly over the soundwaves, like a ship in motion over tranquil seas. The third and final word vibrated like a chime from a cold metal percussion instrument in suspension. As he drew his short monologue to an abrupt end, I felt myself gasp.
Were they words of ‘I love you’?
No. Certainly not a notion so sweet and delicate.
Possibly, words of ‘I am sorry’?
No. Nothing so bitter-sweet to put my heart at ease.
Maybe, words of ‘I hate you’ then?
No. As regretful as that would be, it doesn’t encompass the full impact of my pain.
It must be the words of ‘Your grandparent died?’.
No. My parents and grandparents are alive, of that I am certain. Though grief is as painful, it only scrapes the surface of my sorrow.
Those 3 words travelling to my ears with an echo, a soundwave, and a vibration, made the ground tremor beneath us.
‘I killed you’, he uttered. Each word released from his thin, pierced lips, so effortless and without remorse.
I was gasping for breath, tearing my fingernails through the transparent veil between us, like I was stuck behind a magic mirror looking back into the world of the living.
He stood upon my grave, heels sinking into the dirt, like he was digging them into the chest of my carcass, as I bore ghostly witness to his startling confession. So daring and unexpected. Uninvited in fact.
It pierced my soul. A secret, I took with me beyond the grave.
You Are My Sunshine
“Tears are words that need to be written.”